Sewol

0 comments

There were alot of speculation about this song and music video being a tribute to the Sewol Ferry Tragedy which happened on 16th April 2014. Being a mere spectator while the tragedy happened, it didn't seem real. I mean I know it happened but at first I felt nothing, as harsh as it sound. Like what Lady Gaga said, "You wouldn't know until it happens to you". It didn't hit home like the MH370 and MH17 did. But recently I got the chance to visit Seoul and it hit me. Was casually walking along the Gwanghwamun plaza after a failed visit to the Gyeongbokgung Palace. When we saw there were lots of police officers there the only thought was there's going to be a demonstration because there were buses and traffic was sort of being controlled in a way.

It hit us hard since we weren't expecting it in the slightest bit. We were having the time of our lives experiencing the cold winter, visiting places, making memories that when we passed the altar it was like a slap on our faces. Looking at the pictures of the students and the teachers that was assembled on the altar, the lump in my throat couldn't be more prominent. They looked happy, like there's no worries. Like the last thing they have to worry about is whether the rescue boat will get to them in time before the ferry sinks. Especially their first year pictures together. Omg, I can't even describe the feeling. The happiness in their eyes. My heart aches for them. It really does.

I don't know much about the tragedy but one thing I know is how the captain of the ferry told all the passengers to stay still while he makes a run for it which is a super cowardly move. It is so twisted and cold. But in the end, it is human nature. I'm not saying what he did was right, but for me to talk down on him and his actions, what if the situation is reversed onto me? What would I do? Would I be in my right state of mind to make the right decision? In fight or flight situation, God only knows what us humans would do. All I can say is may the families of the deceased finds the strength to forgive, let go and move on.

"Sometimes a question comes to mind. If I had been in a situation like that, would I have acted the same way? How can I answer such a question? I don't think I would have had the moral strength to do it, in all honesty. Maybe. Did he know he had the strength? How can you know? How can you recognize the moment of truth when you can sacrifice yourself, sacrifice the only life you have for someone else? There's no answer to that question. Or a question others can answer. But this question must be asked." - Ruth, Human The Movie

Blogging Mojo

0 comments
I had this blog since 2008 and this coming July would be its 9th anniversary omg. I remembered brainstorming, looking at my friend's blog content, trying hard to get into the blogging wagon wheel. It was the it thing you know around that year to have your own blog. It first started out with me copying every single topic my friends talked about, into me getting a hang of it and started getting ideas elsewhere and start writing for real. I started doing things with my friends and family whole heartedly, ironically because I know it could be another content I could talk about in my blog. Icing on the cake when I first got my camera phone and pictures starts coming in. I took pictures of EVERYTHING so that my blog would look more lively and less wordy. As tiring as it sounded like, I liked it. It felt like I had a purpose. Although my readers are mainly my sisters and my classmates, it still gave me a purpose. It didn't feel like a chore; or should I say it felt like a chore I am glad to carry out. I miss that feeling. 

The most rewarding moment was one day I decided to google my blog and found out that one of my post is featured on a random website. A post I wrote about an event I went to with my father. Although the website is not that well known, but the idea that somebody outside of my colleague had read my blog is the most awesome feeling ever. That gave me the boost but that was also the time when I started to be too ambitious. I was obsessed with getting each and every post perfect so that I could be featured in another website. Who knows maybe get famous like the other bloggers I read everyday. It turned once again into a chore that I started getting sick of it.  None of my post got featured ever again xD. After a while I gave up and stopped updating daily like I used to and days turned into weeks turned into months and soon after this blog was abandoned.

Honestly saying, I don't think I would ever be able to get into it again like I used to. I was so committed and passionate that ideas poured out of me like water. Every single moment of my life is a content and a story.  I would spend hours beautifying my blog; from looking for templates that would give me and my reader the best reading experience ever and editing it endlessly until I could get it as perfect as I want it to be. Now I got tired just from looking for the templates online. Ideas would be evaporated from me like a hot vapour the moment I start typing. If you got the chance to look at my posts; the amount of drafted incomplete posts would kill any full time bloggers. 

Anyhow, I hope I could slowly try and get back at it again. Given a new chapter of my life would be starting soon, we are required to bring in patients now for our Primary Care Clinic 1 subject and who knows I might write about it. If I could find the words fast enough before any of it evaporates again xD It would be fun down the line to maybe in ten years time given I don't delete this blog to revisit and reread some of the posts, wherever life may take me next, God knows. Damn I used to be so good at ending a post that the old me would be shaking my head in disgrace haha. Chow for now!

Shy

0 comments
"it doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions, or I’m not interested, or I don’t want to be a part of something  – I do, but in my own way." - Marzia's Life

Lee Hi - Breathe

0 comments


Take a deep breath,
so that both of your chest aches,
until it begins to hurt a little.

Breathe out more,
until it feels like
there’s nothing left inside of you.

It’s okay if you’re out of breath
No one will blame you
It’s okay to make mistakes once in a while
Everyone does that 
 To say it’s okay,
even though it’s only words of comfort.

Someone’s sigh
That heavy breath
How could I possibly understand
Your sigh
Although I won’t be able to understand that depth
It’s okay

I will hold you
It’s okay if you’re out of breath
No one will blame you
It’s okay to make mistakes once in a while
Everyone does that
To say it’s okay,
even though it’s only words of comfort

Someone’s sigh
That heavy breath
How could I possibly understand
Your sigh
Although I won’t be able to understand that depth
It’s okay
I will hold you

From other’s eyes, 
it might look like a sigh that lets people down
But I know
that you spent a hard day to let out even a small sigh

Don’t think anything else now
Take a deep breath
and breathe it out

Someone’s sigh
That heavy breath
How could I possibly understand
Your sigh
Although I won’t be able to understand that depth

It’s okay
I will hold you
You’ve worked hard

Everybody needs that someone when how bleak everything seems to be, when there seems to be no hope left for tomorrow, to say that "everything's going be okay", "you've worked hard". They're merely words but it could be the words that would bring back the light into our faces and hearts to face the so called bleak and dark tomorrow with our heads held high. Whatever it may bring.